Thursday, 17 December 2009

Wasn't Gonna Blog This But...

Heard this tune last month, but didn't blog it in fear of lobbyists pickiting my blog.

However, I've changed my mind

This Munga tune sell the r**s off! Voiced on Karim's Duffle Bag riddim. Riddim also features Busy Signal's 'Question' how his money went so fast.

He isn't being rude or 'phobic, he's just setting the law according to him.

Also feelin this 10 Long 10 Strong riddim

Leftside is a big jugglin tune, Bugle is probably my favourite on there. Kartel is a good one too. Who says they don't make what's commonly known as dancehall sounding anymore?

8 Days 'til Christmas, soooo...

Was the not the last great pop Christmas song? Talking about original ones here. Materialistic as anything, and who the hell rubs feet, especially leading up to Christmas. Them cold toes in my warm, clean hands. Or just imagine it's after walking up and down Oxford Street in socks and Uggs. Dem pongin feet there.

Song was on the re-packaged version of one of the greatest r&b albums in recent times, The Writings on the Wall.

Kinda off-topic rant there, I haven't done any Christmas shopping yet. I know what I'm going to buy, just need to buy it. So technically sorted.

This is another Christmas time banger

What happened to Xtina? That voice was incredible! Obvs she had a baby, sure she made a failed comeback when people were comparing her style to Lady Gaga, to which she asked "Who?" She wouldn't say that now.

If I never blog again (highly unlikely), Merry Christmas one and all. Thanks for visiting my blog

Monday, 14 December 2009

Beast Gets His Beauty (The-Dream weds Christina Milian)

Everyone loved off the light skinned girl who couldn't sing but appeared on Ja Rule's Between Me and You

Before embarking on her own (short-lived? Stop-start?) solo career. AM to PM was horrible, but the next single, When You Look At Me was a lot of things. I won't lie, I liked the song

Can't embed so click here for a reminder

"Be gone" said Christina Milian (well her people) to her clean cut, girl next door image with the release of the seductive Dip It Low (written by one of the best female artists to drop an album this decade, Teedra Moses), was a hot video. The faux-dancehall riddim had me sucked once upon a time. Not anymore! Cheesy!!!

Taking it back a little, I know all the UK males were with me hating on Romeo from So Solid when he collaborated with her. Not only that, but there was chemistry in the video between them. Not gonna lie, I used to look at that video hard to see if they actually recorded the video in the same studio

I'm a big a fan of The-Dream's music. Love Hate is a modern day r&b... good album. Love vs Money was aight, but his melodies/songs are infectious, and he's got a little swag going on. Girls don't find him attractive in the slightest. So what on earth did this Cuban princess see in him? Come on, that gives hope to all of us.

They got married last week sometime, I poured out a little liquor (into a cup) for humanity. The balance is really messed up when dudes girls think is erm, buttaz gets a beauty. Alas, I can't hate on him, gives us all hope.

Wedding Pic

Saw it and first thing I thought was, he looks like an African dictator about to play a game of polo before indulging in a spot of croquet with his chaps.

Idi Amin

As played by Forrest Whitaker in the Last King of Scotland.


Saturday, 12 December 2009

OK! Mag Kano and Noel Clarke mix-up

Spotted this over at Mad News. You guys get that I like that blog yet? This must be the 4th time I be jackin material san! It isn't really jackin, it's inspiration.

As big as OK mag are I don't know what kind of mag they are; women, gossip, entertainment? All the same thing anyway. Men aren't supposed to read it so I'll make an educated guess that there's also fashion and make-up tips, hot fella's and pointing out sexy thick celebs cellulite to make insecure 40 year-old ugly journalists feel better about themselves (don't tell me most wimmin mags don't follow that blueprint)

Anyway, apparantly they wrote an article on

Noel Clarke

But ended up using a pic of



Well Kano can give thanks as this will probably be the most mainstream promotion he's had in his whole entire career, as evidenced by his tweet ( regarding the situation: "Has anyone got a screenshot of @okmagazine using my picture instead of @NoelClarke?"

Mr. Clarke, not to be confused with Justin Clarke a.k.a. Kano's Robin (not my words) rapid-fire grime MC, Ghetto/Ghetts - I just clocked I want to interview Noel Clarke. Missed out last year due to conflicting arrangements. Get your people to holla at my people... ok so I haven't got any people, but you know what I mean - back to what I was saying, Mr. Clarke ( wasn't best pleased, twranting (Twitter Rant):

"Click link wait 4 page to load. look at picture. I'm offended. WE DON'T ALL LOOK ALIKE Retweet their ignorance"

"nice @OK_Magazine Except the picture of "me" u put up is not me It's Kano. All look the same do we? what year is this?"

Before directly tweeting Ok Magazine's twitter account:

"@OK_Magazine if you can tell me ANY excuse for this i'd like to hear. Google+sense. A 2yr old could see that ain't me."

Some next dude, James Moran ("Writer for film and TV - Severance, and episodes of Doctor Who, Torchwood, Primeval, Spooks, and Crusoe" according to his bio), tweeted: "Wow. @OK_Magazine photo of @NoelClarke is not him: -but hey, black guy with stubble, close enough eh?"

I agree it is a damn near impossible error to make when using Google images, I don't suspect they use archives from filing cabinets, or do they? Saying that, I guess it depends on what was typed into the search bar: "I C 1 male, stubble, entertainment, light brown" - not very likely.

But I'd like to challenge that "do all black people lookalike" question. Yes, Noel Clarke and Kano do actually lookalike. Hell, I'm surprised they didn't throw in one of the miscellaneous guys from JLS. Apologies, I don't actually know his name. If it isn't Aston or Marvin (what a great name), I don't know who's who.

Dude on the extreme left

Can I get a witness?

Real Badman Never Afraid: Iyaz - Replay

Quick post to say I'm overly feeling this tune at the moment.

Was convinced it was Sean Kingston, but it's some geezer called Iyaz out of tax-haven British Virgin Island. Sean Kingston alledgedly discovered him on MySpace. MySpace? I didn't know people still used that site since the emergence of Facebook (dead out!), and my new favourite site Twitter!!! I can't see why Sean Kingston didn't sing this and cut out the middle-man.

JR Rotem is fast becoming that go-to producer in my opinion to join Tricky Stewart and The-Dream. Red One and David Guetta are doing their thing in pure pop, but since Timbaland with the assistance of Danja blurred the lines/opened the door for that sound there hasn't been one (to my memory anyway). He never really followed up on Sean Kingston's Beautiful Girl, but J-J-J-J-J R's success with Jason Derulo's 'Whatcha Say' and even our boys JLS 'Everybody In Love' will probably lead to him being the man of 2010.

My fave JR track is Boss by Rick Ross. Push was big too.

For previous Real Badman Never Afraid posts click here

Friday, 11 December 2009

Song of the moment: Demarco - True Friend

As the year draws to a close, it's always a time when life reviews take place. Have I done what I wanted? How can I fix what I did wrong this year in order to improve for next? What's the motive for next year etc. Another prominent question in my head is who really deserves my time next year. Nuff suckers, leeches, users, whatever about amongst the people I can depend on for a good conversation, creating memories, chucklin etc.

This song is another one of those dancehall songs which ring off because it talk a real topic everyone can relate to in a simplistic, easily digestible way. Singer/DJ (rapper)/producer DeMarco sings about frenemies.

Riddim up my seleckta

Initially, I was going to blog about why I love dancehall, but I think it's more a recurring theme as apposed to something I can do in one post - 4th dancehall post in-a-row. Whether it be social-commentary, struggles ghetto youths face, poltical, inspirational, death, religion (conscious tunes), straight up thriller/action movie types or braggadocio (gun/badman tunes), romance or man-to-woman interactions/"transgressions" as ol' Cheetah Woods put it (gyal/whinin/daggerin tunes), dancing, or songs like the above, there's usually an emotion evoked - usually signifyed by people bussin gunfinger accompanied by sounds like "pie pie pie" (in high pitch), "pam pam", "boowup", "ky ky ky" (high pitch) etc. *exhales*

I love the outspoken, political incorrect nature of it. Last one left that isn't regulated or dictated to by buyers/labels a.k.a. those who aren't real fans, but ride the wave while it's hot, rinsing it for all it's worth. I always enjoy my interviews with them. Always fun as they are very grounded; in touch with the grim realities of where they are from, and also majority of the fans of the music face - unlike their hip-hop counterparts.

Even when the beats sound under the influence of hip-hop (as above) it sounds better than a lot hip-hop beats produced at this moment. No other genre can lay claim to using a bass line as effectively and predominantly as reggae/dancehall before rocksteady/reggae did it.

If you don't like dancehall and reggae, you are most probably hearing the wrong stuff (check Sean Paul post where I pointed out waste waggonist DJs) and ultimately I do feel you are missing out.

That is all

p.s. I guess that did turn out to be a "Why I love dancehall" post didn't it? D'ah well

Thursday, 10 December 2009

Sean Paul - Hold My Hand [video]

Another day, another vid (no WorldStarHipHop)

After releasing two singles at approximately 138bpm (that's like really fast), dancehall's flag bearer Sean Paul slows it right the way down with this lovers anthem Hold My Hand

Finally the Sean Paul 'Imperial Blaze' success can begin. Rated this song from I first heard it at the listening session back in July (click for album listening party review). I actually prefer the solo version over the duet with Keri Hilson.

Here's a blog where I asked for this song to be released. Glad to hear my prayers were answered. Nice video too

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Chino - Never Change video

As you may or may not know, I only post videos that evoked some form of emotion from me. Sometimes it's anger at a utterly butters tune, but I do tend to post videos to songs that I'm feeling more often than not

This one is probably one of my favourite tunes from 09 full stop. Any genre! Powerful message, catchy melody, playful beat... also reminds me of my time in Jamaica this past summer. Song gives me such a good feelin'. After fuelling up on Cranberry and Vodka/Rum, draw for the Skip To Ma Luu dance and it's that summer vibe! In fact, I featured this tune back in July/August.

You most probably don't know who the hell Chino is. If not, he's son of living legend reggae singer Freddie McGregor and brother to leading producer (and producer of this track) Stephen "Di Genius" McGregor. Here is an interview I did with him earlier on this year. Most fans of dancehall/bashment are so engrossed in the Gully/Gaza debate over here in England they don't even know how big Chino is in Jamaica. One of the leading artists I'll have you know.

I'm gonna take a little time out to speak about these "DJs" over in England. You lot (in most cases) are absolutely crap! Why must you follow fashion in the whole Gully/Gaza ting leaving listeners completely unaware of what else is going on? Then you have these little hurry come-up top 40 urban DJs harping on about Gully and Gaza when "I bet you a tenner" they don't know why it's called that or where it is. Stop hyping and stick to playing tunes. What are you going to do now there isn't Gully vs Gaza? Huh? Where you gonna get your cheap forwards from?

Anyway, back to Chino, he's the next best commercial artist to Sean Paul in my eyes, but with all due respects a lot more street cred than Sean ever had. Don't get it twisted, SP isn't a slouch but I don't think he ever got a forward like this or Protected get in the ghetto dances (the livest parties may I add and NOT all like Passa Passa DVDs).

Monday, 7 December 2009

Mavado & Kartel UNITE on stage [pic & vid]

Yes you read it correctly. The two have been embroiled in beef since 06, last seen on stage together during their much-hyped, but very disappointing clash last year at Sting.

Dudus (if you know who he is you know, if not, well Google) made it all happen at West Kingston Jamboree, literally minutes ago.

Here is the evidence (thanks to Liv_Up "ya riddim straight"):

What does this mean for 2010? We've been here before with the press conference last year but that didn't stop the clash at Sting. "Mi hope and pray// hope and pray" this one lasts longer and everyone can work on the same riddims (click for post I did on Gully vs Gaza vs Producers), shows and no more "fussin and fightin". Guess it's only La Lewis and Mr. G warrin at Sting this year unless Bounty wants to clash. Grung Gaad still has a problem with him.

Peace, one love and unity mi say! (I still say Gully but whatever)!

If you liked that/ "bare plugs, pluggin ting" (this was the bottom of the original post but with the updates it looks like "We interrupt your regular scheduling to bring you this announcement from our sponsors")

Marvin Sparks x Busy Signal interview

Marvin Sparks x Beres Hammond Interview

Marvin Sparks x Jah Cure interview

Marvin Sparks x Chino & Laden interview

Marvin Sparks x Gyptian interview

Marvin Sparks x Etana interview

Marvin Sparks x Shane Brown (Busy Signal manager/top reggae producer) interview

Marvin Sparks x Queen Ifrica interview

Marvin Sparks x Anthony B interview

UPDATE 7/11/2009

Blurry video but you get the point

UPDATE Mavado calls up Kartel full vid

Or onstage footage courtesy of Julian "Ah bait dem ah try bait mi up" Jones-Griffith

Full show below

Isn't it funny how they both finish each others songs? You know they were listening singing-along to each others songs behind closed doors.

If you are reading this with interest but haven't been to a concert or a session (party) in Jamaica, you haven't lived. Crazy mad vibes

UPDATE 10/12/2009

Mavado and Vybz Kartel meet Prime Minister of Jamaica Bruce Golding

Wednesday, 2 December 2009

What's right/wrong with Sway's new video?

taken from the lovely Melissa Delicious' blog.

Question is "What's right/wrong with Sway's new video" delete as you feel necessary. If you care to, leave a comment and let me know. I'd love to hear your opinions.

Sway featuring 2Face Idibia - My Kind Of Girl (lead girl played by former Miss Black Britain Rachel Williams)

Do I feel the song? Not really. Evokes zero emotion. Fodder

If you don't know who 2 Face is, you need to stop pressing snooze! One of the biggest artists out of west Africa (I'm sure it's Nigeria lol).

Check this classic. Was a big tune in Jamaica in 2007

2 Face - African Queen

You may also be interested in these previous posts:

Do we still care for Sway?

FAO: Casting Directors of Black R&B Videos

Why Cheetah Woods, whhyyyy?!?!?!

We must all know about the predator nyamin woman (no bowcat reference intended - or am I lying? *shudders*). Anyone heard the voicemail he left for the girl he's been PARrin (there was a golf reference there) his wife with?

Easy now my selekta as we rinse some tunes for di one name Tiger. Man like him doesn't know how to play.

(By The Endz not Ruff Sqwad)

How you gonna leave a voicemail for a girl with your real name at the beginning? Do you want to be held to ransom? Man from 'the ends' know (in the words of Kano) "That's slippin'!" And when isht hits the fan (like it has) he's buggered.

Not something I deal in but surely the point of cheating is for an assortment of ladies. All his ones look the same; blonde, no breast nor batty.

Rachel Uchitel bawlin at the scene of 9/11 where her man (fiancee/boyfriend/husband) died

The chick whose sold his voicemail on and can be heard above

The wifey (why cheat on her with the ones above I'll never know)

You think if I had ol' Cheetah's money, I'd be moving to the same girls? Nah brav! I'd have me everything from a hood white chick to a posh black chick and everything in between, Monday-Sunday regular rotation.

Having said that, I just realised the advantage of them all looking the same. Listen to this Cheetah, here's how you become Tiger again. Tell your wife you was delarious and thought it was her all along using a different name, influenced by the sounds of Dwele. Play this song (Dwele - I'm Cheating) to her and you may get a bly

Play her some more slow jams, do the usual kissing stuff, some growling (these are getting cheesier aren't they?) then it may lead to this next song

Hole in one mate *bob and weaves tomatoes* Ok, that one was bad

Failing that, providing you signed a pre-nup, take your cards back make her live in the dog house and say "Remember what life was like before me? You wanna go back there? Huh? I can't hear you..." If that doesn't work, take all the unworn shoes you bought that are in boxes to the new girl's house. That will KILL HER!

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Urban Brit-Pop success influenced by Kylie?

Howdy! Now you're most probably looking at the title crazy like "How the hell you work that one out?" Some are probably thinking "Com'on son?! This is some bs" but hear me out.

Today I was listening to my iPod when Kylie (the Aussie from Ramsay Street with the illusion pert bum) came on the dance/pop playlist. Yes, you read correctly. First song that came on was the 2000 chart-topping classic Can't Get You Out Of My Head. As a listened, I ran the choreography through my head - yes I know some of the dance steps in the chorus (blame my diet of music television) - when I realised there was a popular UK Funky dance in there.

Look @ 1:49

Does this

not look like this popular dance?*

Excuse the lite version. Someone needs to re-dub the original tunes over the video. Credit my blog somewhere on the video in the pop-up tags!

Ok, but on a more serious note, the next tune was Kylie (yes again) Come Into My World. Tune is mad under-rated! Skankers.

& Love At First Sight

Another big tune

But anyway, I clocked this is the same sort of sound Taio Cruz and Tinchy Stryder are singing and rapping over.*

If you guys somehow manage to read this I expect to hear you both say you were influenced by Kylie.

Disclaimer: the real motive behind this post was a Kylie circa 2000/2001 appreciation/real badman never afraid but you were so wrapped up in my madness you never thought "'Ang abaat, this guy listens to Kylie". *The points made may or may not have been made in jest, a gentleman never tells muahahahahahahahaha *disappears in the puff of smoke, mirrors and bright lights*

If Marks & Spencers made West African dishes...

This would be the advert

Tell me that isn't sick! Never had west African food in my life if I'm honest, but that isn't the point.

Props to UpShot TV and Babatunde

Monday, 30 November 2009

This Is Why Westwood Runs This

I'll tell you straight, I grew up listening to Tim Westwood when his Friday Show was on from 11pm-1am. He is a straight up legend innadis! No one in the game possesses chracter like him.

I burst out laughing on numerous occasions when I heard this on Saturday, so had to share. Westwood interviews Drum and Bass/Dubstep producion duo Chase and Status

Related to that, a song I was meant to post the other day; Saxon is one of the best Dubstep beats about. I heard Rihanna was going to vocal it, which sounded alien to me. I'll never forget when grime DJ Logan Sama dropped this for Cold Blooded (Scorcher, Jonson, Revolver, Terminator & Dolla da Dustman). They left it disfigured!

Anyway, below is Nicki Minaj's demo for Rihanna

Don't think Rihanna did it for her album (I haven't heard it), but they've got 3 songs on there.

And that's all folks

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

1 Month 'til Christmas

Don't know how they've worked that out but so dem seh!

Anyway, nothing says Christmas like these:

Christmas doesn't start 'til you see this

The best advert in the whole entire world!

I remember going there and being so disappointed that it wasn't the magical wonderland I expected. Was more like some any warehouse.

Xmas party ender

Noddy Holder must make so much money from this one tune. Every single year they dig this up for a new compilation CD and programs always use it.

My personal fave Christmas song

Top boy cartoon film

I couldn't hit them notes before the Adam's apple

Sarah Palin's policies? IT DOESNT MATTER!!!

Just seen this and thought I'd share

Some of you most probably fell about laughing thinking "only in America" but that's BS! UK votes for BNP are increasing. But not even that, ask people why they will vote for David Cameron next year, or why they voted for Tony Blair, or Boris, or even why they don't vote for lesser parties like Lib Dems or at all. You'll get foolish answers across the board, so don't put it down to "Only in America".

I remember around the whole London mayor time someone told me they are voting for Boris because oil prices are too high... *looks in disbelief* ROTFLMAO (rolling on the floor laughing my arse off)! In '08 someone over the age of 21 told me that. I won't say the gender 'cos I don't want to bias the point and I love women (oops ;0) ).

As one user correctly put it

123got180degrees (2 minutes ago) Show Hide
0 Marked as spam
This just proves that politics is just showbiz , 80% of people are just sheep blindly following.

And that's that. How many time have you heard Gordon Brown isn't a leader because he lacks charisma? Most people don't care about policies anywhere near as much as the things that don't actually matter.

But anyway, enough about politics. Sticking with Sarah Palin though, who WOODn't? That is the real question!

She has that school teacher, should but I shouldn't appeal slash MILF... Me likey!

Monday, 23 November 2009

Gully vs. Gaza AGAIN!? Music mi seh!

So if you haven't been following, Kartel and Mavado (scroll to the bottom of the Killer vs. Kartel war report) have been sending songs after each other AGAIN. LAME we don't want to hear you two warring again. Just as we were getting somewhat near a peace treaty (AGAIN), you both decide to draw for war tunes. Why? We don't want to see a rematch this year at Sting, cos to be quite frank, the last wasn't that good.

Both have managed to move on with their careers, Kartel's flourishing both locally and for the first time in a while internationally (since VISA was revoked?), whilst Mavado continues to make headway collaborating/in the studio with the likes of DJ Khaled, Busta Rhymes, Wyclef and Young Jeezy to Alicia Keys. Last year, it was at the forefront of everyone's mind and captured our imagination. Now it's at the point where it is more likely to result in a lose-lose. We've had to endure Bounty Killer vs. Beenie Man on-and-off for over a decade, please don't drag this one out for that long, thanks.

My 2 pence on this whole Gully-Gaza thing is, if that's what they want to do, cool. Why people take it upon themselves to war personally like either of the artists are doing anything for them but satisfying their thirst for music, I guess is a much deeper than simply stan behaviour - I'm not about to do a social/economical post. As much as the Jamaican media protest against it, in my opinion, they are the ones who have kept the war alive, because neither artist has really said much to each other on wax this year, yet Gully-Gaza news stories still dominate the papers.

Personal grievances don't bother me greatly, the main problem for me is when it starts to affect us - the fans. What seems to have happened is each artist has their respective camp thus meaning both record riddims with their own camps and associates exclusively. This results in compromising what we hear or should I say what we don't hear. I would love to hear Mavado on the England Town riddim produced by Gaza's in-house producer NotNice or Kartel on Gully's DJ Frass riddim Survivor.

Russian and Brixton from Head Concussion seem to be servicing both sides; Go-go Club (hottest riddim right now) seems to be a Gaza ting whilst DJ Frass' Survivor and Clearance were both built by said camp. Why don't they have a riddim with both artists on there?

Last riddim I remember both on (legitimately) was Stephen McGregor's Trippple Bounce. Was apparant there was a possible rift between Di Genius and Kartl from the no-show by Kartel on Outbreak riddim, even more obvious with Kartel's blatant diss where he tells Mavado to "F*ck Stephen" then in the same breath declares NotNice as the baddest producer. Now if what I've heard is true about why they have fallen out (dispute over an unreleased song), then Kartel went too far.

Why are they taking from us - the fans? Hopefully they still make peace at Usain Bolt's party December 8th (?)

Taken from my interview with famed reggae/dancehall producer and Busy Signal's manager Shane Brown earlier this year:

Marvin Sparks: Have you spoken to both artists and is the war over now?

Shane Brown:
What a lot of people need to understand is this war thing is very seasonal. After summer coming up to December everyone is preparing for Sting. Therefore, that is the season for it. But after Sting, there is no way you can start the year off on that note. Both parties are saying they have finished with that.

Marvin Sparks: So is it all engineered then?

Shane Brown:
No, it isn’t engineered, it’s just a part of it.

Marvin Sparks: So we can’t expect either one to record a new track on one of your rhythms?

Shane Brown:
Nah, that’s not really my vibe right now. I’m more into the girls songs and some party songs. But who knows? If these two artists can keep it musical and not physical its all good and fun.

Anyway, MUSIC MI SEH! This has been getting some serious rotation on Windows Media Player. Feel the Jah Vinci on the riddim, but this is my fave. Along with Don't Blame Life on Mood Swing riddim (albeit overshadowed by G Whizz's powerful Life), and Anything Goes on Trippple Bounce, Bugle is doin' a lot right now!

Friday, 20 November 2009

FAO Wiley: which Take That member did you see in Bedford Nightclub?

I wonder which member he saw? I'd only recognise Jason Orange (the Shaggy haired guy that was in one of the Celeb BB's) or Gary Barlow but neither of them seem the raving type. Especially not in a club I'd imagine Wiley would go to. Hmm... anyway, my money's on Jason Orange.

LET US KNOW WILEY!!! Did you say something like "Rah I swear you're a member of that crew Take That?" That musta been "well weird", Wiley having a convo with a member of Take That. Just imagine if the member spat "It's Wiley and I'm gettin 'em hyper" whilst spuddin him as a greeting? Bare excitement innadis!

Shame its getting released the week after Christmas though (28th December go cop that late stocking filler tingsdem). Sales aren't usually that great them times unless its Boxing Day sales. Hope it still gets the major love it deserves. Also hope his run lasts longer the last time, he most definitely deserves it.

Send your answers in on the back of a stamped postcard.

And whilst you deyah (that means here NOT there - common mistake people make), check my interview with Skeppy/Skepta/Mic Champion/"Junior, Junior, Junior, suck ya m*m until she's in pain". It's the best interview you'll read with him all day!

Sidebar: With Grime (or ex-grime?) guys making the big hits and all the focus placed firmly back on them for a source of new talent in the UK urban/pop scene, is UK Funky dead? Just a question because I haven't heard any new funky songs in a while and all the videos being made are for songs that were big in summer. "Failed grime" mc's jumped on the Funky wagon 'cos they weren't getting love, wonder if they bought a return ticket!

Keep grinding lads and lasses your time may come

Thursday, 19 November 2009

This Dynamo illusionist guy

Straight jacked from Chantelle Fiddy. Before I continue,I like Chantelle and rate her highly. Met her once (that's not me beggin' by the way) and she seems like a really cool lady, but I liked her before that and I don't know why. Although she doesn't seem to tweet much anymore she's jokes.

But to the point of the post:

I've heard a lot about him, but I never realised he was this big. Show reel is many things!

Man can't fool badman like I though. If he tried that garbage on me, I'd tell him do it again if he's bad, then study real hard. But on a real, he's "truly amazing". I've never had someone play a trick on me - not counting evil bastads and them Eve's (evil females) - if I see him about I'll ask him to trick me.

Mucho props to him

New York (vs) New York - Alicia Keys & Jay-Z

I'ma be honest wit'chyall (say that in a New York accent/twang whatever), I never really thought Empire State of Mind was as big as everyone else does yo. Word is bond dun, Al Shux laid the foundations for a moving tribute/appreciation, Alicia Keys kills it on the hook, but I never felt like Jay-Z actually hit a home run with any of the verses. Don't get me wrong there are lines here and there, general vibe just wasn't there for me. I find myself waiting for the chorus to come on again so I can sing out "Neeww Yorrrrrk" triumphantly like I'm from there!

Me and one of my bredrens were debating whether Jay's verses were good the other day. I told him in no uncertain terms that the chorus makes the tune, not Jay. I guess that is compounded by the fact top 40 UK radio stations like Kiss and Choice FM cut Jay's verses down considerably.

Thanks to the almighty Jah, Alicia Keys laced her own verses.

That is better than the original alie? How it should have been.

Wednesday, 18 November 2009

Griminal's new song... hmm... well... erm...

I like this guy, think he raps very well, girls love him and his TI lookalike self. Here's his new tune:

Video is siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick!!! Plush. Really feeling that. Obviously got some major label money behind it, possible deal on the table soonish. He followed the apparent blueprint set by Tinchy, then followed by Griminal's ex-arch nemesis Chipmunk.

Song about romance = check
Synth heavy = check
Young sounding female on the hook (more Chipmunk then Tinchy) = check
Rapper doing a bit of singing (even if it's Autotune assisted) = check

But this is what happens when you try to recreate what's going on without using a brain to say the song just isn't good. This failed on the fundamentals; sing-along hook and a good beat.

I'll be honest, I've never been sold on Griminal as the next to buss the commercial market. I hope he does, but I'm not sold on it yet. This didn't convince me.

Him and Bratt are really trying to play this "Are they? Aren't they?" game.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

I don't usually hate on others but...

Exhibit A.

Hating!!! Before I say the next thing I'd like to state I'm not a perv or anything, I'm a man. There is a difference between perv and man, some people will say thin line, I say you love it (females that is). My hand would have been testing her bum, RAGS!

Exhibit B.

Chart-topping grime (pop now?) artist Tinchy Stryder - real name Kwasi Danquah (why do national papers keep putting his real name out there? Silent pars or something? They don't call Elton John by his real name!) - tweeted "I've been in a bad mood 2day but RHIANNA jus come on the phone & invited me backstage!!... I'm smiling now!!!! Lol"

This was the result of that phone call

(shameless plug on my own blog, check my Tinchy Stryder interview here)

And if that wasn't enough

Exhibit C.

Who wants to cuss Rihanna's forehead? Come on, I dare YA! She is wayyyyyyy toooooo banging!!! Look at her back-off (thought she lost it) and thigh combo. Straight public lipsing ting. Holding hands and everything.

I wonder if Chipmunk got her to be his night nurse after the madness he has been going through? Doubt it (that's what I'm telling myself).

Yes I've blogged about her before and I'm-I'm-I'm doin it again. I will continue to do so. I haven't had a celebrity crush this bad in a long time. Thought I'd outgrown this stuff.

She be the baddest!

Shameless plug #2: Check out my interview with Chipmunk here

The end

Marvin Sparks interviews Skepta

Following the success of the summer clubland anthem Too Many Man, Goin In is the new single from grime collective Boy Better Know. Marvin Sparks caught up with Skepta to discuss the lack of crews in grime, whether he was happy with the final outcome of Too Many Man, regrets from his crossover attempt, Chipmunk`s tweets and the importance of credibility. read that here on

For the full interview which includes his opinion on the relevance of clashing, more regrets, whether he'll be on Lord of the Mics 3, what he'd change about the grime scene, #BBKcorrection, his own future plans, IndustryHater, Grime Daily vs. Grimeforum and more carry on reading below

Monday, 16 November 2009

This is why Grime > UK Funky

Shamelessly jacked this idea from UGK (UnderGround King) journo JP.

We all remember this Channel U (channel 467?) classic

I'm even from them ends but I recognise this to be a classic. Was better than the south equivalent and I'm from south

(Just for the sake of it)

This is the UK Funky remix of North Weezee

What the hell is that all about? No vibes whatsoever. Don't get me wrong the beat isn't bad but it's the sorta song I'd rather smoke weed to and "I don't smoke the reefa!" The intro was nice, went on a bit too long but nice. Just clocked the girl singing is the girl spitting on the original! Sign of the times.

My main gripe is this: a vital element to any anthem is a call-and-response hook. Was powerful on the original song - ok, I'll admit I'd sing it in my head when at a club. "Where do we come from?" - check, but what's the singing response about? They don't think people will sing it back do they?

They were scraping the bottom of the barrel for artists too. I swear the Quincy guy is a DJ a.k.a. the "bashment DJ" who got cussed after UK Funky Live? I'm not really a "top 40 urban club" guy (they play rubbish music that makes me feel like Marty from Back To The Future), but I know who 2 of the other people are and they are both DJs. The rest are anonymous to me. Not a bad thing, as most of the original dudes were anyone to me, but the original dudes were better than these.

And I think I've seen CCTV images on Crimewatch slightly worse than this video. Original video must have had the same budget, but was million miles better.

Last thing though, I ask all Funky MCs; "What would you be without Coldsteps?"

Friday, 13 November 2009

Noughties Appreciation: 2003

Welcome to 2003! Click here for the rest of the Noughties appreciation

What happened in the world?

30 January - Richard Colvin Reid, the so-called "shoe bomber", sentenced to life imprisonment by a United States court.

15 February - In London, more than 2 million people demonstrate against the Iraq War, the largest demonstration in British history.

17 February - The London congestion charge, a fee that is levied on motorists travelling within designated parts of London, came into operation.

12 March - Iraq disarmament crisis: British prime minister Tony Blair proposes an amendment to the possible 18th U.N. resolution, which would call for Iraq to meet certain benchmarks to prove that it was disarming. The amendment is immediately rejected by France, who promises to veto any new resolution.

20 March - 2003 Iraq war: Land troops from United Kingdom join troops from the United States, Australia and Poland in the invasion of Iraq.

April 21 - S Club announce live on stage at London's Docklands Arena that they've decided to split up after five years together. Their final single, "Say Goodbye", enters the chart at #2 a month after the announcement.

29 April - Tony Blair holds a one day summit with Russian President Vladimir Putin. Putin mocks Britain's and America's failure to locate weapons of mass destruction in Iraq

29 May - Andrew Gilligan broadcasts a report on the BBC Radio 4 Today programme stating that the government claimed in its dossier that Iraq could deploy weapons of mass destruction within 45 minutes knowing the claim to be dubious. A political storm ensues. Gilligan's source is David Kelly, a weapons expert. LOL!!!

15 June - The News of the World publishes a newspaper article in which Ian Huntley is photographed in his cell at Woodhill Prison. An undercover reporter had got a job in the prison and was being employed as Huntley's guard.

15 July - David Kelly appears before the House of Commons Foreign Affairs Select Committee to answer questions over the information he had given to Andrew Gilligan.

18 July - David Kelly is found dead near his home in Oxfordshire — police suspect that he committed suicide.

20 July - The BBC confirms that Dr David Kelly, found dead from suspected suicide two days ago, was the main source for a controversial report that sparked a deep rift with the government.

1 August - The Hutton Inquiry begins, with judge Lord Hutton opening an inquiry into the recent deaths of weapons expert Dr David Kelly

4 September - The Bullring Shopping Centre in Birmingham is officially opened by Sir Albert Bore.

29 September - The comeback of Den Watts (played by Leslie Grantham) in EastEnders is screened, 14 years after the character was supposedly killed off, and just over four months after the BBC confirmed that Grantham would be returning to the series

3 November - Channel 4's soap opera Brookside finishes after 21 years on air. Had fallen off by then. Jimmy Corkhill was arguably the baddest man in soaplands those days.

22 November - England are rugby world champions after defeating Australia 20-17 after extra time

24 November - The High Court in Glasgow imposes a minimum sentence of 27 years for Al Ali Mohmed Al Megrahi, the Libyan convicted of bombing Pan Am Flight 103 over Lockerbie, Scotland. The trial judge had originally recommended a minimum of just 20 years, which could have seen him out of prison as early as 2019. But the new sentence means that Al Megrahi is set to remain behind bars until at least 2026. LOL!!!

November 30 - Michael Jackson is arrested on charges of child molestation

26 December - A policeman dies and two others are injured after being shot by a man they were questioning about a suspicious BMW car in Leeds, West Yorkshire.

Sounds of 2003

Well we all know 2003 was the year of a bullet-ridden, Southside Jamaica Queens, New York native by the name of Curtis Jackson, better known as 50 Cent made one of if not the biggest entrance into the hip-hop game with the classic Get Rich or Die Tryin'. The album went on to surpass 12million copies sold.

Beyonce stepped out solo with Dangerously In Love. Smashed the charts as expected. Her soon-to-be-husband Jay-Z marked his "retirement" (like I ever believed that) with the release of the Black Album. The Jay-Z worshipping went into overdrive after this.

Also making a big appearance was dancehall pop superstar Sean Paul. Topped the charts twice with Blu Cantrell (UK) and Beyonce (US), then by himself with Get Busy on the Stephen "Lenky" Marsden (where is he now) produced Diwali riddim. Arguably the best riddim of the whole decade. Refreshing and innovative are the two words I'd use to describe it.

His success spawned a resurgence of dancehall in the mainstream. Acts such as Elephant Man, Kevin Lyttle, TOK enjoying regular rotation on mainstream radio playlists and music channels both here (UK) and US. Best time for music personally because I was proud to see my island doing big things. That all came to a halt when certain man went on campaigns like big gyal pickney but SNM (say no more).

What else went down?

A star was born. Yes, 2003 was the year One Night IN Paris touched road and made the DVD man/woman a lot of money. Great name for DVD but to be frank the movie was rubbish. Yes, I watched and? I bet you did too. First time I've ever seen a movie shot on night vision. I'll pass thanks

2003 Big Brother was the worst to date. Cameron Stoute won. WHO? Where is he now? This was the first series where I didn't care about missing episodes.

David Beckham left Manchester United to sign for Spanish giants Real Madrid. He would turn out to be the last Galatico bought until 2009.

Popstars: The Rivals birthed the short-lived career of Hear'Say (remember them? lol). Not gonna lie, I was sucked. Can't believe I was a fan of them.

Remember this tune?

Staying on the lesbo tip Madonna, Britney and Xtina Aguilera had their three-way snogfest ('snog' always brings an immature chuckle out of my system).

Ali G cracked America with his legendary show. My personal favourite UK comic. Wasn't a fan of Bruno, Ali G wasn't as good as he was, but Borat still reigned King.

That was the year 2004. What were you highlights of 2003?

Thursday, 12 November 2009

Couple Dancehall/Bashment Videos

Riddim built by my favourite production house right now, Head Concussion, lyrics laced by one of the fiercist lyricists in the dancehall game. Fans who dabble in dancehall music don't really understand this guys levels. Could be down to his clarity, but still. Video is big too, feel the way it captured paranoia

Jah Vinci's 'Mi Know' is possibly the stand-out cut on the riddim. I also feel the Vybz Kartel hook (not hot on the song as a whole.

Vybz Kartel did deliver on this next riddim, once again Head Concussion. Features cuts other members from his Portmore Empire camp; Lisa Hype & Gaza Kim, Black Rhyno, the man himself and again with Merital Family

Feel every song in this video. The female song not as much, but it serves it purpose.


Apologies for the lack of updates; I haven't been inspired by much this week. Ok, I have been distracted by what I'm meant to be doing instead of posting, and I've been playing Call of Duty: Mordern Warfare 2. Email me @ if you want my username thingy bob. I specialise in headshots

I have, however, completed the two missing years from Noughties Appreciation 2001 & 2002

Actually, brb, I'm going to post a video I saw the other day that I like.

Saturday, 7 November 2009

David (Haye) vs. Goliath (Valuev)

Something's telling me not to do this post, because part of me feels like I will be wrong. It's never stopped me before so here goes...

Let's be honest, we haven't cared about heavyweights in a while. A slew of sub-par champions has meant interest dwindled in what was Boxing's bread winning division. From about 2004 onwards, the light weights reign as the most exciting and generate the big PPV money.

Another change has been the star-studded USA who ruled the heavyweight division since as far as I can remember, now have no world champions. All of the champions are either Russian or from Ukraine (Kiltschko brothers) and reside/fight out of Germany. Not exactly the glamour we've come to expect.

To be frank: Heavyweight boxing is dead!

However, tonight's fight is the Heavyweight divisions most mouth-watering contest since Heavyweight #1 Lennox Lewis fought late replacement and soon-to-become (at the time0 #1 Vitali Klitschko in 2003. Blimey, 6 years ago. 6ft 2, 16 stone former undisputed Cruiserweight (one weight class lower) champion David Haye faces the biggest heavyweight champion ever in 7ft, 23 stone Russian Nikolai Valuev.

The last time I can remember a small man fighting a big man was Roy Jones vs John Ruiz. Most of us knew Roy would outbox the sluggish... actually, forget the nice terms, damn right boring Ruiz. He ranks up there as one of the worst champions in the last 20 years. Sadly, he is the guy who's supposed to face the winner of this contest.

I did a similar post of this for Mayweather vs. Marquez here. Glad to say I was right on the nigt. Tonight's fight is a harder one to pick. Here's why:

The obvious difference is size. We've been conditioned to think the bigger fight will automatically be the one who wins. Guess this stems back to school days where the big guys were always the one we stayed away from/made friends with. But who does this really benefit though? Boxers say it is harder to punch down. Why, I don't know but I'm not going to argue with a boxer! What they say goes as far as I'm concerned. I've heard many ask how David Haye is going to be able to catch him. Well Evander Holyfield - legend yes but still - managed to catch him. In fact many say 'Real Deal' Holyfield was robbed in their meeting last year, and Holyfield has been past it for at 5 years and that's me being kind! Remember, that's a man who can't get a license to box in America because they worry about his health.

The advantage size will without doubt give Valuev is reach and he'll be able to sap Haye's energy by leaning on him. Haye's stamina is a question mark; only one of his fights has gone the distance, and his one loss to Carl Thompson was due to stamina - he admitted it himself. Valuev will also be able to push Haye off at will.

Speed is definitley in favour of the smaller guy. Haye's got the speed advantage of both hands and feet. He'll be able to get in and out quick whilst landing big shots the big dude won't see coming. And boy can Haye hit! I was at the o2 when he fought Enzo Macarenelli. You could hear every big shot over the crowd noise. It's that real! As previously mentioned, Haye has stopped all but 1 of his victims.

Defence will be another of Haye's problems. He has a tendency to swing his left hand low. Lightning fast reactions (in comparison to Valuev anyway), but this is heavyweight. Questions already hang over his chin (I'm not convinced by that as yet), so hopefully this will have been worked on in the gym and stuck to in the ring. If Valuev could punch with the weight he has, his power would be immense. Another thing many people don't know is power in punch comes from the feet. That's right. Speed of punch also enhances power. Valuev's reasonably fast for a big man, but still he isn't as devastating a puncher as his size suggests.

Will Haye's inexperience of taking heavyweight punches go against him? Only one fight previously against Monte Barrett who isn't noted for punch power. Knocked Haye down though. Ref ruled it a slip, I and many other ruled it a legit knockdown. Wouldn't argue with a boxer, but I'll argue with a ref instead. Haye's got heart though. Remember when he got up following a heavy knockdown at the hands of Jean-Marc Mormeck then knocked him out in either the same or very next round?

"Speed kills" is a common theory in boxing, and that is the theory I'm going with (plus I don't argue with boxers). I very much doubt a knock-out win for Haye. When Holyfield landed big shots on him, Valuev barely blinked. I'm going for a split-decision win or he'll get robbed. You thought Don King's judges were a bit controversial back in the day? Well German's have been bad, Ask Robin Reid and many other Sven Ottke victim. Then add Don King to the situation as he is involved in Valuev's team.

If after all that Haye gets knocked out, it doesn't mean he is rubbish or I am/was chatting nonsense. This is the beauty of predictions and evil of hindsight. Plus, this is heavyweight boxing. A fight can turn or even end in the matter of a punch.

I'll admit I may be more looking at ways for Haye to win rather than taking everything into consideration equally. I've been a devout Haye fan for a very long time, and touted him to everyone I can as the next big thing in boxing. I remember when he went to America for fights as no one would screen them here. Cussed every network. Always said he'll rejuvinate the dead division. Couldn't believe no one was going to show his cruiserweight champion winning fight. Boxing needs David Haye to win

Rihanna Explains It All

I'm not gonna go on a sermon here. All I will say is, Rihanna didn't have to do this. Chris Brown had to defend himself so naturally an interview is required. She could have left it, moved on and it would have been one of those "I would have like to know, but ah well" times.

And why now? Did she see how well he was doing which included the release date of his album brought forward, whereas her music was getting panned left, right and centre? We'd somewhat moved on. Those who hated him after the incident will hate him, those who supported his recent music either moved on or didn't care that much.

I'm not team Chris Brown, he was completely wrong for what he did, I don't think there is ever a reason for hitting a woman, but she didn't have to do this interview. Oh my days, she is such a stunner, but this move seems like a low blow. A move which makes me think she's just bad mind

Friday, 6 November 2009

Noughties Appreciation: Year 2002

Click for all the episodes of Noughties Appreciation.

I don't remember much about 2002, so I'll start with What Made The News (/ what mattered to me back then or what I now see as important in history):

January 1 – Euro notes and coins are issued in France, Spain, Germany, Italy, Portugal, Greece, Finland, Luxembourg, Belgium, Austria, Ireland and the Netherlands.

January 16 – The UN Security Council unanimously establishes an arms embargo and freezes the assets of Osama bin Laden, Al-Qaeda, and the Taliban.

February 1 – Kidnapped Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl is murdered in Karachi, Pakistan.

March 1 – U.S. invasion of Afghanistan: In eastern Afghanistan, Operation Anaconda begins.

March 19 – US war in Afghanistan: Operation Anaconda ends (started on March 1) after killing 500 Taliban and al Qaeda fighters, with 11 allied troop fatalities.

April 9 – The funeral of Queen Elizabeth, the Queen Mother takes place in Westminster Abbey, London.

April 11 – April 14 – A military coup d'état against the leftist Venezuelan President Hugo Chávez fails.

June 30 – Brazil wins the FIFA World Cup for a record fifth time. 3 R's (Ronaldinho, Ronaldo and Rivaldo) murrrked!!! I actually did think England stood a good chance of winning this one. Well that was until Ronaldinho's step-over sent Ashley Cole on a diversion, followed by the infamous Seaman lob (intentional!). Ronaldo returned from what I think was a near season long injury to finish top goalscorer. Legend!!!

August 17 - Bodies of English 10 year-olds Holly Chapman and Jessica Wells are found near the perimeter fence of RAF Lakenheath in Suffolk. Was the second major story of the year where someones kids went missing then found dead.

September 17 – The body of missing school girl Amanda (Milly) Dowler is found in Hampshire 6 months after her disappearance. Another one of those sad stories that gripped the nation. Those stories were frequent back then. 2000 was Sarah Payne and Damilola Taylor.

October 12 – Terrorists detonate bombs in 2 nightclubs in Kuta, Bali, killing 202 and injuring over 300

October 24 – The Beltway snipers, John Allen Muhammad and Lee Boyd Malvo, are arrested.

November 8 – Iraq disarmament crisis: The United Nations Security Council unanimously approves UN Security Council Resolution 1441, forcing Saddam Hussein to disarm or face "serious consequences".

November 13 – Iraq disarmament crisis: Iraq agrees to the terms of UN Security Council Resolution 1441.

November 14 – Argentina defaults on a US $805 million World Bank loan payment.

November 18 – Iraq disarmament crisis: United Nations weapons inspectors led by Hans Blix arrive in Iraq.

November 22 – In Nigeria, more than 100 are killed at an attack aimed at the Miss World contestants.

November 25 – U.S. President George W. Bush signs the Homeland Security Act into law, establishing the Department of Homeland Security, in the largest U.S. government reorganization since the creation of the Department of Defense in 1947.

Sounds of 2002

Can honestly say I don't really remember much apart from rising star 50 Cent, Ja Rule's last year of domination/over-saturation.

Of his many collaborations, Rainy Dayz by Mary J Blige was my favourite. Just found out it was originally written for TLC hence the "Crazy, sexy and cool" and "Chasing waterfalls" references. Makes sense now.

To signify their power Murder Inc. released their compilation. Loved Down 4 U, both the song and video. Gotti and his fat gut sitting at the wheel on the yacht with the blurred Murder Inc logo. Who remembers the rumours of Nas joining them after The Pledge remix. That hurt my soul

Missy Elliott revealed a new look in the video for Work It taken from 2002 album Under Construction. The new slimeline version of Missy signified her downfall IMO (in my opinion). She thought it was alright to rap about drinking from the furry cup. We still remembered her as fat Missy though.

The infamous booty-munching R. Kelly tape leaked

Justin Timberlake's journey as the soloist begun. For the record, Justified is better than FutureSex/LoveSounds. I remember me and my friends furiously debating if The Neptunes were better than Timbaland using this album as a reference point. Sign of a classic.

Speaking of The Neptunes, although I feel 2001 was the peak of the career, they produced a banger in Nelly's Hot In Herre (did they ever say why they used 2 r's?).

This Shakira 'Whenever, Wherever' riddim was 'ard

Another one of our musical favourites left us too soon. In April, Lisa Lopes, member of recrd-breaking R&B girl group TLC was killed in car crash in Honduras. The documentary (Last Days of Lisa 'Left Eye' Lopes?) she made prior to the accident still freaks me out. Being in a car that ran over and killed the kid who had the same surname, the numerology, the fact it all seemed to lead to her death and the actual footage of her death...

Also passing on to better pastures were Davey Boy Smith aka 'British Bulldog', cricketer Hansie Cronje, 32, died in a helicopter crash, and mob boss of the Gambino family John Gotti was buried in a gold casket after dying from cancer.

2002 in vision

February 11 - Two new BBC children's channels, CBeebies (aimed at children under 6) and CBBC (aimed at children aged 6–13) launch.

March 2 - BBC Four launches in the UK, replacing BBC Knowledge. The opening night is simulcast on BBC Two. I didn't even remember BBC Knowledge. Shows they were right for killing that channel

March 5 The Osbournes reality show premieres on MTV (2002-2005). Loved that program

March 27 - ITV Digital placed into administration. Most subscription channels cease broadcasting on the network on May 1. Oh how I lol'd. OnDigital you know. Wayyyyyssssste

April 1 Degrassi: The Next Generation the Canadian hit TV-series premieres in the U.S. on The N. (2002-Present). Lol the program Drake was in. Didn't watch it. Didn't know what it was until associated with Drake

May 19 - The X-Files ended

June 2 - Crime drama The Wire premieres on HBO (2002—2008). How many of us knew about it then?

July 26 - Blonde siren (she was hot) Kate Lawler crowned winner of Big Brother 2002. However, the real winner of the show was the ditsy blonde Jade Goody. Alison Hammond (the big black bird) also did well, now presenting on This Morning. I rank this the 3rd best series.

August 25 I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out of Here! premieres on ITV in the UK (2002-present). Can't remember who won it, never watched it, was too big a Big Brother fan to be traitor.

September 16 - Channel 5 in the UK rebrands itself to Five, and drops its Digital On-screen Graphic. Didn't help them much, they still suck!

October 28 - The names for the London (Carlton and LWT), West (HTV West) and Wales (HTV Wales) are dropped altogether, and replaced with ITV1 London, ITV1 West of England and ITV1 Wales respectively, though the names continue to appear elsewhere. The weekend didn't start until ITV handed over to LWT. Good old TV.

I just clocked, these are the days I still watched TV. The time before internet. Watch the TV posts shrink in years to come. Feel free to leave comments on any memories you have from 2002.

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Jamelia reunites with "ex-lover" on TV/ Max D Apology Vid

Not the type of thing I usually post, but this was hilarious!

So Jamelia was on popular BBC2 pop-quiz (don't know the actual genre) Never Mind The Buzzcocks. She was looking mighty fine as ever.

Let me pause there, I must admit, I never quite saw the hype with Jamelia as a pop star. I had her down as the black Kylie Minogue; someone the media hyped their beauty. May have been due to her music not being to my taste as well. Let's just say I take that all the way back!!! Definitely one of the hottest UK celebrities in the game. Unlike the beauty-yet-ever-so-annoying "mana mana mic MC" Alesha Dixon "H'inside!", the recently separated/soon-to-be-divorced "professional panelist" has an endearing, bubbly personality. Would wife at the drop of a hat.

Back to Buzzcocks, she was her usual stunning self - even though she tweeted she "looked like a hooker" - dressed in one black top with some see-through piece at the top displaying the plentiful cleaves and a short skirt. Sadly though, the desk got in the way so I could only see the top of those everlasting milk chocolate legs. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! She looked so good I'd sacrifice part of my testosterone opening doors, paying half on dates, maybe even buying a rose (no scrub). Consider telling her how I feel about her one day. I'd consider writing a letter/an R&B song for her it's that deep.

Sorry, back on track, guess the ex-popstar round...

Click to watch full episode on the iPlayer.

How tense was that!?!? TV GOLD! When Winkleman introduced Pay As U Go, then Champage Dance played I thought "Wouldn't it be funny if..." by the time that ran through my head Maxwell's face was on my screen. Next thought was "Nah, it can't be, they wouldn't..." But oh yes they did!

For those who aren't familiar with the background, Maxwell D sold a sex-story on her in the News Of The World circa Superstar/when she was an A-list popstar. Told of taking her on a date in his £20k Mercedes-Benz, watching Gladiator on the built-in DVD player and having her jeans off in "10-15 seconds". There were alleged reports that involved famous gangs from Birmingham defending Jamelia's honour, but I can't confirm nor deny those.

I refuse to believe someone involved in making the show never knew. Of all the members in Pay As U Go. That's like Alesha Dixon/Javine on the Buzzcocks having to guess an ex-member of So Solid and them bringing out Harvey. Or bringing out Neutrino with Bradley from S Club on (that would be jokes). And of all episodes, why bring the Ranger out on this one? Look at the way he was rocking his shoulders, he was nervous.

To make matters worse, Maxwell D boasted of recording show on Facebook (people still use that?):

October 20 at 4:45pm

After that embarrassment, why alert people to it? All publicity is good publicity is a myth, mate. In the famous words of the living legend, Bushkin from Heartless, th Pay As U Go "Nowhere, you're going nowhere... Lock off, ya credit dun!"

p.s. Follow Jamelia on Twitter, I reccomend her. She's down-to-earth, funny and doesn't look corny using Jamaican references. Her pics are always on point too.

That's her profile pic. Say. No. More.


Maxwell D Apologises